The Power of Words

It has become clear to me that we don't always use the right words for what we want. Some people say they are dreaming about this ... others say they want that ... still others use words like desire, dream, wish. A few use the word goal for expressing, what they are working towards.

Each word has its own meaning, and the words become progressively more determining. That sounds strange ... that words become determining. The use of the right words is paramount to whether we are coming closer or distancing ourselves from our dreams.

Most people use the word "want" completely randomly in order to express something that they are dreaming about, or even planning for. As you will see that may not be a particularly good word, when we want to attract more of something into our lives, and may even distance us from the objective.

So let me give you the definitions of words we use, and you will see what I am talking about. I have added some further explanations.

wish: to have a desire for something (unattainable).
So what we wish for is unattainable, and using "wish" affirm our not being able to attain it. The more we use this word, the further away we push it.

want: to be needy, destitute, to have or feel need

want: to fail to possess, to have a strong desire for
When we say "want" we are acknowledging that there is a lack, we put our attention and energy on lack. Anyone knowing just the slightest about the Law of Attraction will know that where we put our energy and attention ... that is what we get. So using "want" actually pushes the desired object further away.

desire: to long or hope for, stresses the strength of feeling and often implies strong intention or aim.
Now we are getting somewhere. No lack here, lots of feeling attached to attention. Lots of energy and attention. Using "desire" bring us closer.

crave: stresses the force of physical appetite or emotional need
This has some negative implications - cravings can be a form addictions, and what we desire should not be addictions

covet: implies strong envious desire
Very strong word, but with the implication of negative feeling (envy). We are not going for something that may not be rightfully ours.

Dreams: a strongly desired goal or purpose
               an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream
When we dream about something we put all our energy and attention into it.
I will discuss this in another article - on goals - and why actually it is one of the stronger words.

I must say that I was surprised by the definition of dream. I have always considered "dream" to be the weakest of all the words. But it is the only word where the definition includes "goal" or "purpose", two very directional words.

goal: the end toward which effort is directed; suggests something attained only by prolonged effort and hardship(? - mine)
Here there is a new element, which does not appear in any of the other words: directed effort. Use of this word will show that actions taken are directed toward something specific.

There are a number of synonyms to the word goal. I will also define these in the order of weakest to strongest. They are important to anyone setting goals with the intention of reaching these goals.

intention: a determination to act in a certain way
So if we say: I have the intention to ... we also imply that we will take action. After all no goal or purpose can be attained without action.

intent: suggests a clearer formulation or greater deliberateness
The suggestion is that the actions we are taking are more clearly defined.

purpose: suggests a more settled determination
Interesting that this is the word used when defining life - living life purpose, having a purpose in life

design: implies a more carefully calculated plan
No wonder this is the word used by architects, planners, creators of products, etc.

aim: adds to these implications of effort directed towards attaining or accomplishing
An aim becomes something much more definite, with lots of directed action.

So taking all this into consideration, you may think twice before using a particular word to indicate what you desire for your life or anything else for that matter.

All definitions from Merriam-Websert on-line dictionary.

This article is a free transcript of a coaching lesson I held in OurLighthouseCafe on Saturday 23 May 2009. It contains an expantion on the first half. The second half of the session dealt with aspects needed for going from wishing to goals and their attainment.

The session grew out of my e-mail course on "Elements of Goals" from my blog Lessons of Life Coaching